There is no more fear. There is a deep sense of peace when I know I am at home. When I have arrived where I needed to be and therefore where I can be.
5/6/09
I felt bad every time I found myself in a moment of transition, I can even say that I felt embarrass of being there. This flower is so full of life, with passionate colors all around it, encouraging it to continue to be what she is: a beautiful flower. It may change the way she opens up to the sun, but it would remain a beautiful flower.
To me this is an alogic, something that at first looking at it, seems to have no logic, but it does. This drawing contains the expression of life. It’s colors, it’s shapes, it expresses LIFE.
Abstract drawing can be interpreted in various ways. When I saw this colors all together, I saw a promise. My life it is not simply black and white or for that matter, it is not black or white, but it is much more than two colors put together, but it has live within, it has a mixed of colors that makes it shine!
I would say this is the moment where I find myself in right now. Like this little flower in the middle of the “no path.”
One day some one told me that we cannot make decisions when there’s a lot of turmoil going on in our life’s, that we needed to wait for the turmoil to settle in, then we will be able to see the path we should walk.
I agree with that wise old lady.
Searching for the original Me
Who am I? that was my question, not only when I was a teenager and I had the “normal” identity crisis, but when I when back to Mexico after many years of been in the U.S.
I was in the airplane and needed to fill out the papers of migration. The asked me what nationality was I and I said: Mexican. She asked me for my passport, which I showed it to her. My passport was an American passport therefore the woman told me I wasn’t Mexican but American. I got mixed feelings, but said nothing about it. When we landed in Guadalajara City, my friends where eagerly waiting for me at the door where all the Mexican citizens where going through. I went out through the “extranera” door, and I was the one who needed to go and find out where my friends where.
That experience made me question seriously about my identity. Am I Mexican or American or both?
I love this drawing, because it expresses the moments where I could only cried interiorly. Hay un dicho famoso que dice: cuando una puerta se sierra, otra puerta se abre. My mind knew that but my heart couldn’t understand it.
I identify very much with this drawing. I have been reasoning so much about my life, if I move to one state or another to continue my higher education, or if I just stay where I am at this moment and make my life here … etc.
When I was looking at this drawing it helped me so much to laugh and to sing, not because suddenly there are no more worries or thought or desires inside of me, or just because I was able to make up my mind. I life is much more that moving from one state to another, it is about enjoying the present moment and the next step will come.